Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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