I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
love makes seman taste better
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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