i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
