At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
