arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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