I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I supernannyed him into submission
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
