remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
