Pappa wants mamma naked
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
