sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
