Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
