So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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