Jerry, you need to find god
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The beers last night were like the tears from god
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
