Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
