so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
