just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
