her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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