just come out here and I will go home with you...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize