mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
