at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
