Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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