the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
