that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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