I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
