There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
