My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
