In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
