And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
