Your tits are I can't wait for
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I smell like Dick and happiness
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
