She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
