I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
