We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
