i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
