Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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