I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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