he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
where are my eyebrows?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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