I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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