Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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