Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
