I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
