Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
