jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
