She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
