I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
