Fuck appropriateness.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
