I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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