can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
