So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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