How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
