There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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