drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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