I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
