dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
