Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
