$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
