And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
