Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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