Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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