You just made me feel so damn special
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
